I have a new love.

Hot Yoga.

I've always wanted to try it and the minute I walked into Kelowna Hot Yoga Studio, I knew 1 of 2 things would happen. 1- I would either hate it or love it and 2- I was going to die in the process.

I showed up for my first class and it was so hot, it stopped me dead in my tracks.  My good friend Tara was with me and when she saw the look of terror on my face, she did what any good friend would do....laugh. 

So far - I really love it.  These classes have been by far some of the hardest workouts I have ever done.  Every one is a challenge and I enjoy being able to do things that, 3 weeks ago, I couldn't (the only exception is something called the 'corpse pose'- you lay flat on your back in 104 degree heat and try to not fall asleep.  This... I pretty much nailed right off the bat). 

The biggest thing I have learned so far came from one class a couple months ago.  The teacher said something very simple... "place your foot.  Do not put your foot.  There is a difference between placing and putting".  After muttering under my breath about where I'd really like to "place" my foot, I began to grasp how important that small sentence was to the rest of my life and not just my downward dog.

What she wanted, was for all of us to do everything with intention; a purpose.  This is such good advice for almost situation in life.  Work, relationships, almost every interaction benefits from the simple question "what do I intend to happen?"  How many times have I been in a situation where after I end up thinking- "that did not go the way I planned." or "that is not at all what I intended".

What this teacher was asking us to do was place our intentions first.  Think about what we wanted to have happen BEFORE it happened.  If all you want to do is comfort a friend going through a tough time - knowing that going in may prevent you from sarcastically suggesting she change her decision making paradigm when it comes to dating and maybe then she wouldn't end up with such doorknobs for boyfriends (based on an actual conversation from 1995).

Thinking about what I want the outcome to be changes the words I use in the moment.  It changes the entire conversation.  It changes my actions in the situation.  It's not always easy, but it is worth it.

My new favorite thing. Enjoy!!
Live Penguin Cam...

Bully

I am a bully.

I have to take some time to let that sink in. I am a bully.

You may have met me, you may not have. Those who have, know that I am easily moved to tears when I see or hear of anyone being left out, alone or made to feel less than. At the start of grade 7 there were 2 new girls. One had some flashy new clothes and the other?...not-so-much. The not-so-much girl was standing alone with her head down while all my classmates were all buzzing around the flashy girl. I approached the not-so-much girl and we became great friends. There is just something in my heart that breaks for anyone feeling like they don't matter.

But once again I have to say...I am a bully. Now, I'm only 5'2" and am really not able to strong arm anyone so I've relied on words. Verbal bullying (also known as Verbal Abuse) is described as:

..any slanderous statements or accusations that cause the victim undue emotional distress. Examples include:[8]

directing foul language (profanity) at the target
commenting negatively on some one's looks, clothes, body etc. - personal abuse
tormenting
harassment
rumors
being laughed at


I have said some of the most hurtful and hateful things. I have caused feelings of abandonment, failure, inadequacy and depression. I have used phrases such as...

• 'you are so stupid'

• 'if they really cared about you.....'
  

• 'they would like you more if you were...'-take your pick of-prettier/thinner/taller/shorter/blonder/darker/faster/slower...)
  

• 'I can't believe you said that/did that/wore that'

• 'you can't do anything right'

I'm embarrassed to say it gets uglier. If I heard anyone speaking to another human being with the tone, feelings and words I've used, I would immediately step in.

But how do I step in between me and myself?

I am a bully. And I am my own victim.

I wore pink on February 29th, just like most of us did. I just didn't know I was standing up against myself for myself. I'm not alone, I know there are others like me out there. Most of us wouldn't dream of treating others they way we treat ourselves. The Golden Rule tells us to "do unto others as you would do to yourself". In my case I sure hope not.

I think for me it's time to treat myself the way I treat others.

Crazy Train

The Scene: Downtown Kelowna, Sunday Morning

Cast of Characters: Me, Joanne, Mark and Conrad

Our very dear friends were in town this weekend for a long overdue visit and Sunday morning Joanne and I wanted to pop into Oranj Dance Studio to check out their schedule. We explained to the guys we were literally going to be a minute and a half and left them waiting patiently in the truck. We returned 90 seconds later to find them gone. We stood there wondering how they could have thought that leaving us on the sidewalk was funny. People do this kind of stuff in high school but at 38, I have ABSOLUTELY no patience for it. In that moment, there was no rational thought, no believing the best about either of them. I went from zero to crazy in about 17 seconds. I hopped on that train like it was taking me to Hogwarts.

Joanne (trying so hard to see the silver lining) said, "maybe they went to get us coffee?". I responded with an answer that I cannot share here.

When they did come back a number of glances, glares and stares took place. Here's how it went....

Mark: 'I'm sorry, I didn't know you didn't have your phone'
Me: 'uh-huh'
Mark: 'I texted you to let you know where we were'
Me: 'uh-huh'
Mark: 'we just went to the library to pick up those DVD's - Now it's one less stop.'
Me: 'uh-huh
Mark: 'sorry....'

When were able to be alone (and by that I mean without witnesses), I stood so very tall on my soapbox and spouted off about how disrespectful it was to just leave me on the side of the road, now knowing where he went, when he was coming back, how would he like it if?......



He apologized, I (eventually) apologized for getting so upset and the day went on like nothing ever happened.

However, after a few hours of reflection, I was hit between the eyes with the cold, hard truth.... Mark and Conrad did nothing wrong.

I was the only one who should have apologized. To believe that Mark would have just left us there as a joke?.... I was the one who was disrespectful. I went to my husband and said I was sorry and this time, it was for the right reason.
I couldn't see the good because I was focused on the crisis. A crisis I had entirely made up in my head.
_________________________________________________________________

The Scene: Downtown Kelowna, Sunday Morning

Cast of Characters: Me, Joanne, Mark and Conrad

Take II

Mark: 'I'm sorry, I didn't know you didn't have your phone. I texted you to let you know where we went.'

Cara: 'That's o.k. babe. There was a train that went by here a minute ago, but I knew you'd come back so I let it pass.'

Get out of my dreams, Get into my car...

We were talking the other day at work about why we do what we do. Most of you know that I work for Summit Chiropractic here in Kelowna. If you know me at all, you know I love my job. Like really... Love. It.
I started out like most people. I wanted a car (actually before the car – what I really needed was that totally awesome purple sweater from Mariposa that my parents wouldn't by for me) so that meant I had to first find a job. Where does a young, vibrant, ready to take-on-the world, 16 year old go? Yep...McDonald's. The land of dreams.

Side note-Most people don't eat at McDonald's because they know it's not good for them. I don't eat at McDonald's because if I see another McNugget again in my lifetime it will cause a reaction far too violent to be shared here in this PG rated blog post.

Thus began my journey into the Canadian workforce. After that, it was a produce store, shoe store, another produce store, walk-in clinic, same produce store and another walk-in clinic (BTW-anyone need help choosing a ripe avocado or cantaloupe-call me).

“Cara”, you may ask, “why so may jobs?”. Well, most of my time between 1997-2007 was spent working 2-3 jobs at a time because I was trying to get what I needed. And what I needed was to pay my rent. To buy food. I wasn't working at these places because I loved sharing with people the difference between cilantro and parsley...I was working only to pay the bills and working to pay the bills is not a bad thing. It's a very necessary thing. I once worked 4 jobs at the same time just so I could continue to have cable because living without 'Melrose Place' was NOT an option.

I know that not all of us can have our dream job or even have the opportunity to. My dream job would be as a backup singer/dancer for Janet Jackson- but since Miss Jackson hasn't called yet, I can't see that happening anytime soon. So, I found something that I really love AND pays the bills. Does that mean that I never dance again? No. But what I CAN do is take dance lessons...And continue to embarrass myself as I dance around my living room with the blinds open for all the neighbors to see. (true story)

Always wanted to be a writer, but work as an accountant? Start a blog- share your talent. Always dreamed of being an actor, but currently deliver flowers? Call the Kelowna Actor's Studio and be outrageous! There is always a way to do what you love.

So to entirely mis-qoute the talented Billy Ocean, it's time to “get out of my car and INTO my Dreams”


PARSLEY.....




CILANTRO.....










Injoy,
Cara

through the desert on a horse with no name...

Well...Hello again. Clearly, it's been a while since I've posted. I wish I could tell you a lofty tale of how I was traveling across the Moroccan desert and came across a small group of people who needed my help and because they were so grateful, they made me the leader of their village and asked me to stay. I did, of course, and spent the last 3 months selling exotic rugs and fruits at the market in Marrakesh.

But....and brace yourself...that's not true. I've been here, I've just been blogularily challenged.

So now it's January and I'd like to set a goal of at LEAST one post a month. I say goal and NOT resolution for a reason. Resolutions don't last (trust me - I'm a complete professional on this).

Resolutions can be infinite...There's no end to them. For example:

-I'm going to run 5 day a week ( for the rest of my life)
-I'm going to lose weight (not sure how much, just some)
-I'm going to blog every day or until my fingers cramp (I'm sure I am)
-I will never eat potato chips or chocolate again (ya....whatever!)

We talk about this at the office, 'what is not celebrated is soon forgotten' but how can you celebrate something that never ends?!!

Goals are definite...there is a date of completion. For example:

-I'm going to run 3 days a week for a month
-I'm going to lose 15lbs
-I'm going to blog at least once a month
-I will have potato chips and chocolate once a week (ok...chocolate maybe twice)

Start the party!!!! With every accomplished and celebrated goal, I can almost guarantee you will gain momentum rather than others with resolutions who lose motivation.

So here's to a year of partying -for all the right reasons!!