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Tuesday, March 6
Bully
I am a bully.
I have to take some time to let that sink in. I am a bully.
You may have met me, you may not have. Those who have, know that I am easily moved to tears when I see or hear of anyone being left out, alone or made to feel less than. At the start of grade 7 there were 2 new girls. One had some flashy new clothes and the other?...not-so-much. The not-so-much girl was standing alone with her head down while all my classmates were all buzzing around the flashy girl. I approached the not-so-much girl and we became great friends. There is just something in my heart that breaks for anyone feeling like they don't matter.
But once again I have to say...I am a bully. Now, I'm only 5'2" and am really not able to strong arm anyone so I've relied on words. Verbal bullying (also known as Verbal Abuse) is described as:
..any slanderous statements or accusations that cause the victim undue emotional distress. Examples include:[8]
directing foul language (profanity) at the target
commenting negatively on some one's looks, clothes, body etc. - personal abuse
tormenting
harassment
rumors
being laughed at
I have said some of the most hurtful and hateful things. I have caused feelings of abandonment, failure, inadequacy and depression. I have used phrases such as...
I'm embarrassed to say it gets uglier. If I heard anyone speaking to another human being with the tone, feelings and words I've used, I would immediately step in.
But how do I step in between me and myself?
I am a bully. And I am my own victim.
I wore pink on February 29th, just like most of us did. I just didn't know I was standing up against myself for myself. I'm not alone, I know there are others like me out there. Most of us wouldn't dream of treating others they way we treat ourselves. The Golden Rule tells us to "do unto others as you would do to yourself". In my case I sure hope not.
I think for me it's time to treat myself the way I treat others.
I have to take some time to let that sink in. I am a bully.
You may have met me, you may not have. Those who have, know that I am easily moved to tears when I see or hear of anyone being left out, alone or made to feel less than. At the start of grade 7 there were 2 new girls. One had some flashy new clothes and the other?...not-so-much. The not-so-much girl was standing alone with her head down while all my classmates were all buzzing around the flashy girl. I approached the not-so-much girl and we became great friends. There is just something in my heart that breaks for anyone feeling like they don't matter.
But once again I have to say...I am a bully. Now, I'm only 5'2" and am really not able to strong arm anyone so I've relied on words. Verbal bullying (also known as Verbal Abuse) is described as:
..any slanderous statements or accusations that cause the victim undue emotional distress. Examples include:[8]
directing foul language (profanity) at the target
commenting negatively on some one's looks, clothes, body etc. - personal abuse
tormenting
harassment
rumors
being laughed at
I have said some of the most hurtful and hateful things. I have caused feelings of abandonment, failure, inadequacy and depression. I have used phrases such as...
- 'you are so stupid'
- 'if they really cared about you.....'
- 'they would like you more if you were...'-take your pick of-prettier/thinner/taller/shorter/blonder/darker/faster/slower...)
- 'I can't believe you said that/did that/wore that'
- 'you can't do anything right'
I'm embarrassed to say it gets uglier. If I heard anyone speaking to another human being with the tone, feelings and words I've used, I would immediately step in.
But how do I step in between me and myself?
I am a bully. And I am my own victim.
I wore pink on February 29th, just like most of us did. I just didn't know I was standing up against myself for myself. I'm not alone, I know there are others like me out there. Most of us wouldn't dream of treating others they way we treat ourselves. The Golden Rule tells us to "do unto others as you would do to yourself". In my case I sure hope not.
I think for me it's time to treat myself the way I treat others.
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